Excited and scared for how the next couple of months are going to go…
As I sit here and think of all these things I have to refrain from crying. Between tears of joy and sadness. I am excited for what is next, but I am sad that this season is ending. AND I thought I would never ever ever say that because this has been the worse season of my life.
I just want to skip work and drink hot chocolate or read a book or watch tv or get lunch with a friend.
OR JUST SKIP WORK!!!!!
Feeling totally bummed.
Over the past month or two I have been applying for jobs and having interviews.
Every job I have applied for I have been rejected and every interview ends with a no.
I don’t know why I can’t get a second job. I am trying so hard and not seeing any rewards.
If I don’t get a second job by the end of October I won’t be able to afford living on my own.
I don’t wonder anymore what I’ll tell God when I go to heaven, when we sit in the chairs under the tree, outside the city…….. I’ll tell these things to God, and he’ll laugh, I think, and he’ll remind me of the parts I forgot, the parts that were his favorite. We’ll sit and remember my story together, and then he’ll stand and put his arms around me and say, “well done,” and that he liked my story.
And my soul won’t be thirsty anymore.
I am totally rocking it out this semester.
On all my test I have made A’s, and on all my quizzes I have made 2 A’s and 1 B!
Heck to the yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Over this weekend I wore a shirt that had graphics from the student ministry I volunteer in.
I no longer attend this church, but I still feel called to pour into the lives of the students.
While wearing this shirt I had multiple people ask me what is was about and what it meant. I would answer “Well this is a shirt from the church I used to attend.”
Saying that felt great. That I no longer attend that church is still sad, but I am beyond blessed where I have been called.
Not sure why I am posting this, but it just felt nice to be able to breathe and go to a church where I don’t feel like I am being judged, or condemned. I also am allowed to run and experience true freedom! So wooooooo.
"You Ashlyn are a daughter of the most High. Your love for Him is contagious and your witness in times of trial has been an inspiration to so many of us. You speak of entering a new season in obedience to the One who gave it all. God speed my friend and sister. Keep on dancing and keep on listening. He truly has incredible plans for you!”
Someone submitted this to my blog. Seriously one of the nicest things I have heard in awhile. I also really needed to hear this.
Jesus is King!
Tell me why I have lost 10 pounds in almost 2 weeks.
I am not complaining, but I am not sure if this is healthy.
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
This verse speaks to the depths of my heart. The Lord has been calling me to be strong and courageous, to not be afraid, to step out and do as he is calling. Instead of listening to him, I have been ignoring him.
Over the past couple of months I know the Lord has been calling me to go on a new journey, calling me into a new season. But this new journey comes with heartache, leaving people I love, having relationships end; but it also brings new relationships, joy, going deeper with him, and being able to experience true freedom.
As I sat tonight and dwelled in the Lord’s presence he began to remind me of how much has changed over the last 7 years. How I have changed, how my relationships have changed, how I have blossomed into my title as “daughter of the king.”
Not only has things changed drastically over the past 7 years, but they have changed tremendously over the past year. This past year has been the hardest year of my life. I was kicked out and homeless for a couple of weeks. I had a relationship that I held so dear to my heart end. I have had people tell things that were never suppose to be told and been talked about negatively for listening to the Lord’s calling.
I am not posting this for a pity party or to call anyone out, I am posting this for me.
As sad as all this stuff was this past year, it was all a stepping stone for what God had prepared for me. If I would have never been kicked out, I would have never realized how strong or loved I was. If I didn’t have that relationship end, I would have never been able to stand on my own two feet or leave a church that was once my home. If people never told personal things or talked about me, I would have never realized what God truly wanted for me.
As I post this my heart is overwhelmed and sad. I am sad that this chapter of my life is ending but I am excited for the journey that I am beginning. New friendships, going deeper with my Father, being able to be totally free and experience the presence of the Lord in all of its forms, and watching old friendships be restored and come back to life again.
Thank you to everyone who played a role in my life over the past 7 years and especially over the past year. I know that I would have never been able to overcome most of the obstacles in my life without your love or support. I am beyond blessed for all of you. Not only is this a new season for me, but it is a new season for everyone. So be excited, because God is about to do some big things.